The Spoonbill Generator

Rash Wednesday On The Grim Reeperbahn

Give me a whirl on the trampoline dull [The Agent Apsley]

Before the elastic's replaced [Roland]

My mind is a-whir though my body's in Hull [TG]

And my tongue is devoid of all taste [Roland]

I've learnt how to sing with a flute up my nose [The Agent Apsley]

I've mastered the art of despair [Jane]

I'm telling the world in impeccable prose [P]

How highlights got lost in my hair [Roland]

Give me a whirl and I'll tell no more lies [P]

Concerning my Cactus Career; [Roland]

I'll even retract what I said about thighs [P]

- You intimidate so with your sneer! [E Greejius]

I've learnt how to fly with a fan on my head [Grayman]

I've mastered the Tuning of Chance [Roland]

I'm uttering words that should never be said [P]

In such cases: "Go into your dance"! [E Greejius]

Give me a whirl of a kind that is rare [The Agent Apsley]

I promise I'll never divulge [Grayman]

All the secrets I learnt at The Mystical Fair [The Agent Apsley]

Or the weakness I over-indulge. [E Greejius]

I've learnt that the Sultan is not what he seems [TG]

I've mastered the Spinning of Yarns [KT]

I've ordered the book that I wrote in my dreams [The Agent Apsley]

The one about badgers and barns. [KT]

Give me a whirl and I'll sell you my soul [P]

(I won't tell you it's cracked in two places) [Grayman]

I'll give you my daily telegraph pole [fester]

And also my two belts and braces [KT]

I've learnt how to walk with no feet on the ground [P]

I've mastered the Downing of Heels [Roland]

I'm coming to terms with the Earth's being round [TG]

But what is the need, then, for wheels? [KT]

Give me a whirl as the curtain comes down [Roland]

Or I'll beat on your head with a spoon; [The Agent Apsley]

I'll buckle the toast-rack to serve as your crown [Roland]

The kind worn by the Lairds of Dunoon [TG]

I've learnt that there's only a day or two left [P]

I've mastered the Hanging of Fire [Roland]

I've vowed that I'll never be tried for the theft [P]

Of the key to the Heavenly Choir [Roland]


Contributors: The Agent Apsley, Roland, TG, Jane, P, E Greejius, Grayman, KT, fester
Poem finished: 27th February 2000