In the beginning Bob created the woman and the beer
And the woman was without form and the beer was weak
And sorrow was upon the face of the man.
And Bob said "It's not good for me to continue without premium beer."
And there was premium beer.
And that was the first day. And Bob saith: "Not so good."
On the second day Bob created the pizza and the couch
And the pizza was lukewarm and the couch was too hard
And anger was upon the face of the man
And Bob said "Let there be goose down and flaming brick ovens."
And thus Bob had a soft couch and hot pizza
And Bob sat on one and ate the other, and saw that it was good
On the third day Bob created Cable Sports TV
And the transmission was fuzzy with commercials on the face of the screen
And frustration was upon the face of the man
And Bob was full of wrath and slew a third of the halfbacks
And the networks were forced to comply
And Bob observed the coachs' discomfiture and it was good.
On the fourth day Bob slept till about 5 pm
And the bed was soft and comforting and silence reigned
And bliss was upon the face of the man
And Bob awoke and said "Let there be light sabres"
And thus George Lucas was made a very rich man
And Bob observed the Star Wars franchise and pronounced it so so.
On the fourth day Bob created Playboy
And there was a shout of joy in the locker room and much leering
And drool was upon the face of the men
And Bob smirked and said unto Himself: "What pigs."
And he realised it was actually the fifth day
And he said: "Let there be time zones."
On the sixth day Bob created the gadget and the gizmo
And the whatchamacallit and thingamajig, the doohickey and thingamabob
And glee was upon the face of the man
And Bob said "Now let there be a remote control"
And there was much channel surfing and internecine warfare
And Bob observed the living room, and thought "What have I done?"
On the seventh day Bob looked around, aghast
And the world was without form and chaos abounded
And fear was upon the face of the man
And Bob said "Let's face it, it wasn't much to begin with"
And it came to pass that Bob turned over a new leaf
With his helpmeet Eve the Whoopie Doll and oh it was good
The woman was annoyed all Bob had wrought
He had made it all: but what had he bought?
And who'd clean this mess? - not Slob Bob, though he ought!
|Contributors:||N, F, Karin, Beefy, D, Dassn't Say, Kansas Sam, Padfoot, fester, Anon.|
|Poem finished:||14th November 2003 by Anon.|