Bathroom Psychodrama
Pale in her Siamese twin-set
She stroked the rat on her lap as it nuzzled her knees
She shattered the cameo inset
And then she took out her tongue as it started to freeze
Gaunt in her Klein cigarette pants,
She sat back and stared at the sky
She dreaded a shower of dead ants
Drank sack and ate leek and ham pie
Dazed in her ruined pagoda
She just toyed with her ratatouille
She drooled in her whiskey and soda
and decided she needed to pee.
Her decision, alas, was rejected
On grounds of decorum alone
A new decency code was elected
Supposedly raising the tone
She found a commodious answer
Balletic, and straight to the point
Yet, 'twas such a difficult scan, Sir
Her nose was put right out of joint.
She ran to a "nose cosmetitian",
Who worked in the dead of the night
For such was his burning ambition
to eliminate ugly nose blight.
And over the strains of 'Messiah'
Her voice, almost too soft to hear
Until she turned off the hair-drier,
Then silently rolled down a tear
She blotted it with Kleenex,
Her cheekbones, mascara-befouled
With a sinister mark, an obscene "X"
That showed she should be disembowelled
Disembowellment proved far too drastic,
The surgeon was ever too dear
He always used metal, not plastic,
And his patients died mostly from fear
Fear of the unknown outsider
Paranoia was never so far
The surgeon did not know she was a fighter
He barely left even a scar!
Her scarf hid the signs of his entry
His exit was likewise concealed
His methods were quite elementary
His patients were mostly well-healed.
and now the Miss Rosey New Nosey,
Sits, pale in her Siamese gown,
Beneath an enormous tea cosy
And waits for the moon to go down
| Contributors: | Roland, TG, P, Stacy, Nuralia Hamid, KD, Bop, Jane, Mikkel. |
| Poem finished: | 15th April 1997. |