Requisite Tragedy
Christopher Robin was captured by those
Sundry temptations to which flesh is heir
Tiny caresses to earlobes and nose
Or big hugs of an eponymous bear
Christopher Robin was tortured by some
But not by the ones who quite cared,
And not by the ones who were nameless and numb
Of whom he was dolefully scared
Christopher Robin was worried by mice
Which would assail him with regular ease
Teasing his trousers apart in a trice
So's they would flap in the breeze.
Christopher Robin was troubled by thoughts
His grip on reality vague,
He waved to the preachers in various ports
But avoided the blustery Hague.
Christopher Robin was cursed with a fate
That visits us all, high and low
He belches quite loudly and dips his hat proudly,
A sign that he's just --- well, you know
Christopher Robin was aghast by the state,
His call to the throne premature
Chris wasn't a ruler 'cause his father was cooler,
(he lived in a fridge in the Ruhr)
Christopher Robin was prudish and ill,
His colour alarmingly puce
Forsaken by passion he quickly turned ashen
No, wait! It was only a ruse!
Christopher Robin sits halfway upstairs
And simpers to heaven-knows-whom
He might be a tinker or a scrupulous thinker,
But I wish he'd go into his room!
Christopher Robin's a toff to his boots,
A toff to the roots of his hair
He lives in an attic, quite aristocratic
But oh! How I wish he'd stay there!
| Contributors: | P, TG, Roland, The Agent Apsley, Stacy, GED. |
| Poem finished: | 29th November 1997. |