The Spoonbill Generator

Now listen, please. I've brought you here [Roland]

So kindly do not slurp your beer [TG]

Until my brother, Kasimir [Roland]

Has told the truth about King Lear [P]

And all his Merrie Men [Roland]

And when you've listened to his tales [KT]

(in which invention rarely fails) [(trad)]

Of princes, kings, and killer whales [KT]

And men who hide their heads in pails [P]

He'll tell it all again [Roland]

His kingdom stretched from hill to shore [The Agent Apsley]

(Remember, this was days of yore) [TG]

Until my brother, Karrimor [Roland]

Defender of the Chankly Bore [P]

Defaced his only map [Roland]

The map that showed the quarries deep [The Agent Apsley]

Where manticores and dragons sleep [TG]

And Slithy Toves are wont to creep [Roland]

(Exactly like Uriah Heep) [TG]

Was now one mottled scrap. [Roland]

"Alas", he cried, and wept a tear [KT]

For Karrimor and Kasimir [TG]

And with a face afire with fear [Roland]

He plunged into a vat of beer [TG]

By bitter overcome [Roland]

The moral of the story's plain [TG]

Be careful of another's pain [KT]

And tip no beer into the drain [The Agent Apsley]

Nor schnapps nor cider; just champagne [Roland]

(Perhaps a little rum) [Grayman]