Claudius Jointless, Claudius Pointless
The other day I found a paper clip
Hurrah!
and lanced a tiny pimple on my lip
Take that!
And lurking in the out-tray to my right
What's this?
The severed tail of Aunt Matilda's kite
Oh Shit!
I'm sure she'll throttle me when she finds out
But why?
I'd better disappear from hereabout
Toot sweet
Aunt Matilda never really cared
At all
Until her first encounter with The Laird
Of Glamis
And after that she never laughed again
Unless
It was to scorn the folly of the men
She saw
For, knowing she was wiser far than they
No doubt
She turned upon her heel and strode away
At speed
My aunt was always fun to have around
My neck
She'd lead the hunt awry and go to ground
Despite
Her hardly inconsiderable girth
That now
Seems scarcely less than that of Mother Earth
Below
She'd cackle at their futile sounding brass
Until
The dire catastrophe that came to pass
Finished
The day she bought the kite I well recall
Pardee
She put it on the suitcase in the hall
To rest
She bade me guard it, with my life, from harm
God wot
To show her fierce intent, she pierced my arm
At last
She meant to fly it free on Highgate hill
Next week
But, sad to say, she wholly lacked the skill
Poor mare
| Contributors: | P, TG, Roland. |
| Poem finished: | 16th December 1999. |