Adam's Ballooning Error
Whatever happened to darling Denise?
What was she doing there, down on her knees?
Hadn't she heard that the service had ended?
Wasn't she told that her hat had been mended?
Had she abandoned her old expertise?
Whatever happened to Gad-about Gertie?
What was she doing there? Nothing too dirty,
Hadn't she seen that the wheels needed cleaning?
Hadn't she noticed the whole shift in meaning
Since the parish converted to Dvorak from QWERTY
Whatever happened to Denzil the Draper?
Wasn't he seen with a ream of brown paper?
Was he aware that the choir was in session
Didn't he come just too late for confession?
Where was his shame for his role in the caper?
What has become of our servant Selina?
Isn't it ages since anyone's seen her?
Has she found out that we've sold all her china?
Shattered her drawers and defaced ev'ry liner
And done everything that we can to demean her.
And what, pray, became of the Bishop of Burton?
Isn't he noted for twitching the curtain?
Didn't he used to reveal his equipment
After inhaling each clandestine shipment
And sampling it twice, so he said, to make certain?
And what shall become of the Poets of Penge?
Didn't we threaten the direst revenge?
Did we not summon, with syllables dulcet
Critics, who seize on a verse and convulse it?
Shall we not bury their bowels at Stonehenge?
What did you say to that termagant Tess?
Has she been threat'ning to iron her dress?
Has she now promised to mend her bad habits?
Bullying embyros, threatening rabbits
And refusing to clear up that terrible mess.
You, who idolise these foolish folk
Shall always be the last to see the joke
We, who see the joke but do not laugh
Shall be the first to write your epitaph
|TG, Roland, P.
|31st January 2000.