The Minotaur's Preserved Tears
Frugal the frog
Once owned a dog
Neither could swollow or sneeze
They lived underground
In a burial mound
Racked by a myst'ry disease
Hargreave the hare
Collected hot air
Piled in a circular bed
While, over the shop
The Risible Cop
Cried as the chimpanzees fled
Memphis the mole
Once bartered his soul
Swapped for a metre of twine
And then left his den
With cry of 'Amen!'
And lived all his life on the line
Turnpike the toad
Loved to explode
When dropped from a terrible height
The passage of air
Set fire to his hair
Which caused his left ear to ignite
Carstairs the clam
Could not abide jam
When traces adhered to his trews
He shrieked in alarm
And decamped to a farm
And there, to this day, sings the blues.
Sherlock the shrike
Trashed my new trike
By methods I cannot surmise
The Polaroids show
An ominous glow
Suffusing his odious eyes
Hector the hake
Though scarcely awake
Was reciting the thirty-first psalm
One glance at the clock
And a twenty-ton block
Quite filled his young head with alarm
Albert the Ant
Was forced to recant
His claim to be Billy the Kid
The veins in his thigh
Revealed every lie
That fuelled each deed that he did
Graham the grouse
Gave birth to a mouse
By methods both occult and strange
His diet of cheese
His fluent Chinese
Both simple enough to arrange
Gnorman the Gnat
In mottled cravat
Was sued for a six-figure sum
His widow confessed
He'd not looked his best
And the prospects were certainly glum
Gerald the germ
Once founded a firm
That marketed bundles of mist
To those with a yen
To see the Great Wen
And then become utterly pissed
Corpus the cod
Was worshipped as God
Despite all his devilish pranks
For he raised all the dead
By the hairs of their head
And sent them to live with Tom Hanks
These beasts big and small
These bugs short and tall
Are the curse of the humnaoid race
And yet ... are not we
Not destined to be
The curse that has taken their place?
| Contributors: | Roland, TG, P. |
| Poem finished: | 13th February 2000. |