The Dismembered Thumbs
Before taking part in this scandalous hoax
Allow me to tell you just one of my jokes:
"My wife has run off with a grizzly bear ...
Not unlike me, but with slightly more hair...
Now each time I look in the mirror, I see
That I am the bare and the bear is like me."
Ascending a ladder all covered with cheese
Is harder than skating on custard and peas
But only if you have the nerve of a Swede
And a Viking's capacity for mead
When all's said and done, you can hardly deny
That no grizzly bear could be braver than I.
I wonder if smallpox is caught by the pard
Or might it be better to buy by the yard?
I like my diseases to come a la carte
Ferried in from Dublin on the line that they call DART
Then when I regard all my pustules and warts
I file them according to their diff'rent sorts.
The art of the poet is hard to define
But you can add your line and I'll add mine
Together we'll show what a combine can do
To ogre-like mortals who live in the zoo
And when we sit back and examine our work
We find it a task that we hastily shirk.
Contributors: | Roland, The Agent Apsley, Grayman, KT, TG, David Rippner. |
Poem finished: | 11th March 2000. |