The Spoonbill Generator

Arabella Spommit was a temptress, all allure; [Apsley]

I, a sneaking voyeur, used to stalk her [Roland]

For my thoughts were far from pure [P]

And, as you are aware, she was a corker. [Loaf]

She used to dine on turpentine when it was to be had [Apsley]

So I assumed the person of a peddler [Roland]

Hoping, in this way, to be the Jack that made her mad [Apsley]

For, as you are aware, I'm quite the meddler [TG]

Arabella Spommit was divine, yet quite obscure [Apsley]

I, in hood and raincoat, had to trap her [Roland]

To try the very essence of her beauty to procure [Kt]

And not to favour any other slapper [loaf]

She used to read love poems till she found they made her sad [Kt]

So I began to send her unsigned letters [Roland]

But that backfired because I found they made her really mad [Apsley]

Not only at the texts, but their begetters [Roland]

Arabella Spommit danced quite naked in the rain, [Apsley]

I was in the bushes with my cam'ra [Roland]

The thing that most surprised her was the nature of the stain [Apsley]

From, as you are aware, Spanish Alhambra [fester]

Yes! I would be her Matador, and she would be my Bull [Roland]

For I'm a little twisted in my tastes [Apsley]

And half the time I'd rather have a pullet than a pull [Loaf]

And for an egg have half another's wastes [Apsley]