The Spoonbill Generator

Arabella Spommit had a cat made out of cheese [Apsley]

A dog made of cellophane, a house made out of bees [fester]

She liked to undress to the sound of raw chocolate [Apsley]

(Oh, no more Arabella Spommit, PLEASE, at this late date!!!) [E Greejius]

Not everybody liked her, this girl of ready wit; [Apsley]

"Her ready wit? Oh, Apsley! Please put a sock in it!" [E Greejius]

Who liked to wonder naked through fields of marzipan [fester]

Her arms brimful to flowing with pure diazepam [Apsley]

We hated her with passion when she was in a mood [fester]

But liked her studied sassiness and can-do attitude. [E Greejius]

She really was quite lovely, except for her moustache [fester]

Which she sported jauntily, but still did lack panache. [Apsley]

But her legs were long and slender - and so was her neck [fester]

And it stretched to the skies - and, indeed, led to her thighs [Apsley]

Yes, her neck led to her thighs, which was a great surprise [fester]

To the Reader in Anatomy at the Univ. of Quebec! [E Greejius]

Oh, the Univ. of Quebec, which fills each heart with glee, [Anon.]

Is entirely built of Mars bars (or so I am told) [madge]

Each one of which is said to be worth its weight in gold [Apsley]

Thus implying something about a Quebecois degree [fester]

The moral of our story, as anyone can tell, [Madge]

Is either "Don't keep a skunk if you don't like the smell" [fester]

Or 'Talk unto the pansies, and you will reap anew' [Apsley]

The import of these homilies is known to but a few [TG]