The Spoonbill Generator

Give me some glue in pot coloured blue [Apsley]

Send me some soda and tape [Surlaw]

Tie Auntie Mabel and brush out the flue [Apsley]

Let all her suitors escape [Surlaw]

From the gloom of their lives into a vat of hot soup [Apsley]

While her Polish nephews attempt to jump through the hoop [Surlaw]

Tie down the hatch and put out the light [Apsley]

Send me some Saudi meringue [Surlaw]

Strap Auntine Susan and fasten her tight [Apsley]

Let all her suitors go hang [Surlaw]

Up on the chimney where pixies lament and Latvia wails [Apsley]

And Estonian neices all plummet to founder in pails [Surlaw]

Mine is the finger that points as the king [Apsley]

Jams vaseline in his ear [Surlaw]

But does not recover the length of fine string [Apsley]

That lets all his suitors appear [Surlaw]

In hideous costumes derived from the Greek [Apsley]

That cousins from Antarctica can't seem to speak [Surlaw]

Bite on the bullet and chew off your leg [Apsley]

Jammed in the old Hansom-Cab [Surlaw]

Drink down the whiskey bequeathed by old Meg [Apsley]

To the Ishmaelitic Ahab [Surlaw]

Stride up the street in a bright green waist-band [Apsley]

And banish our Mesopotamian uncles from this land [Surlaw]