The Spoonbill Generator

My life is like an open road (yes, people walk on me) [fester]

From here to Market Harborough, from Hastings to the sea [Roland]

I don't think that there's anyone as miserable as me [fester]

I wish I'd shut my rancid mouth and telephone a flea [Apsley]

My central reservation's the divide twixt me and thee [Yoxi]

My elbow is the pit of woe where seamen drink their tea [Apsley]

You know the news: I've got the blues - my dog is dead, you see [fester]

So - Sirius, the fallen star, has reached his apogee [Yoxi]

My dog is dead, my house burnt down, I've nothing for my tea [fester]

But worse than that - much worse than that - my baby has left me [Madge]

With seven piles of nappies and a teething-ring all chewed [Loaf]

And just because I said I didn't like her attitude! [fester]