Cautiously Urging, Redundantly Purging
If my ardour flickers
Then (like other de-frocked vicars)
I shall soon remove my hat,
And ascend Mount Ararat
Where I will be passionate
In borrowed crimson knickers
If my courage dampens
As I'm driving in my crampons
I'll use elevator shoes
Take a modest nip of booze
Than which there's none so consummate
As a drop of Speckled Hen's
When mine heartbeat falters
As I'm driving in my Skoda
When the pattern alters
I hope that I'll be sober
Unlike the surly reprobate
Who's just a damn free-loader
When my conscience wavers
As I'm stealing someone's Quavers
I always try to hold my breath
SuperEgo's gone - bereft!
Still I might appropriate
A nice electric shaver
Should my passions fail me
Then I hope a cat will flay me
And when he's put in jail he
Will tell his tale politely.
Now the spoon bill will fly
Hello now we are free so help me
Should some person end this
He'll soon be far from friendless
Because my manner is tyrannical
As befits a rude mechanical
Clothed in rags and oily tatters
Of mummy's pretty red dress
Contributors: | Roland, Hamish, dkb, Apsley, ellie, P, chris, fester, Anon., TG. |
Poem finished: | 30th May 2000. |