Courtly Like The Dancing Cobra
My brides lined up in order
Of perfume, height and weight
And, brandishing my microscope
That came from far Kuwait,
I watched my favourite aunt elope
Across the Irish border
Some brides smelled worse than others
Of frankincense and myrrh
So, brandishing my after-shave
I doused my camel's fur
(She was prettier than all my slaves
And several of their mothers)
My camel's name was Mildred
She came from far Taiwan,
Where brandishing crispy-fried duck
won't make you a man
- They say that the real Taiwanese buck
Are those that Ben and Bill dread
Should I choose brides or camel?
I judged them by their teeth
And then got down on hands and knees
And scanned them from beneath
And they all - bar Mildred - failed to please
My fetish for enamel
Now that twenty years have passed
And Mildred's got dementia
The poet curses in the street
Attracting worldwide censure
He now feels his life is incomplete
Until the day he breathes his last
Contributors: | Roland, dkb, Apsley, Hamish, fester, ellie. |
Poem finished: | 8th June 2000. |