Our Ugliest Newly-Weds Disgust Me
A feast of fumes, a feast of fumes
What kind of beast this feast consumes?
What torpid tongue, what lazy lung
With scabrous, wheezing, maggot young
Lurks, choking, in these rooms?
What creature vile, what cankered brute
Lies drinking in subaqua gear?
A bandicoot?
No bandicoot has lobster shell
It wouldn't wear it half as well
As this huge monster, so ugly
Which suits itself so snugly
And doesn't mind the smell
A fist of fire, a fist of fire
What awful tryst this fist desires?
What vorpal blade its husk pursues?
I wonder where I put me shoes?
The frabjous lair in sylvan wise
Lay soft awaiting cakes to rise
Where no man since has ventured forth
- The home of Reggie B, of course!
Contributors: | Roland, fester, Apsley, loaf, Hamish, Grayman, Anon., Mattus Rattus. |
Poem finished: | 12th June 2000. |