The Spoonbill Generator

Doubled up with laughter, trebled up with woe [Roland]

Stubbing out a cigarette, and putting out my toe [Apsley]

Merry dislocation, one can not help but laugh [Grayman]

But laughter turns to anguish as we start the second half [Beefy]

When the butler ferrets, and the housemaid squeals [Apsley]

About broken households, and second-hand meals [donny]

Then the heat is searing, and the cold intense, [Apsley]

And the postman tries not breathing for the merest kind of laugh, [Apsley]

Ringing at the doorbell, knocking at the gate [Beefy]

With the vigour of a visitor who fears he's come too late [P]

For the festival of hanging and slitting ear to ear [Apsley]

A feast of niggard carnage [Vid]

From the King of sockly-darnage [Apsley]

Will wail about the violence in tones too low to hear [TG]

Save through the trumpet called Bellacquaphone [Apsley]

A contraption about which not very much is really known [Anon.]