False Tales of My Calumny
Bring me an egg-whisk, and sand-blast my shoes!
Break out the flute and play me some blues.
Utter instructions in Finnish and Greek?
Better keep shtum till it's your turn to speak
Lethargy, somnolence, talking in whispers:
Passing the gossip at Matins and Vespers
Is nothing compared to sniffing some glue
Or drinking champagne from a lady's left shoe
Jovial banter swapped in the office
Fuelled by biscuits and over-strong coffees
Makes for a mixture like tinder and flame
But never obscures the main point of the game
For winning is losing, defeat the main aim:
So sod off!
Thus, vapidly, uttered the rank profane
Sing me an anthem, and turn down the fire
Play me a tune on your broken old lyre!
Fly to the moon on the wings of desire.
Barking with Bartok, singing with Strauss
Leaving my wealth to an indigent louse
Who sits on the stairs, and sets fire to my house...
When no one is with me, I'm never alone
I'm ever so mobile now I've lost my phone
Perhaps I'll go home and engage with my clone
Contributors: | Apsley, Curt!, TG, Beefy, Bernard, loaf, Roland, Em. |
Poem finished: | 21st May 2001. |