The Spoonbill Generator

Don't give me your usual whinge! [Apsley]

Complaints, complaints! They never cease! [Calypso]

On me, perhaps, they don't impinge, [Apsley]

Or bend my ear in times of peace [dan]

But, in the pantry, with the bread, [Apsley]

It's safe to hide form the police [Beefy]

Who stalk the streets, with boots of steel, [Apsley]

And big sharp knives they use to slice [fester]

Up leather boots and off the heel [Apsley]

Don't tell me you're frightened of mice! [Beefy]

"I'm scared! I'm scared!" Your cries don't stop! [fester]

So with this blade your tongue I slice [Apsley]

Your words will no more reach my ear [dan]

Than prayers to Buddha will the sun [Apsley]

I hope I've made myself quite clear [Beefy]