At the Leg-warming Market
Statistically speaking, the cow
By means of the sweat of its brow
Has mastered this fancy know-how:
On average, it knows that its moo
Keeps it far from the grounds of the zoo,
Where the vet is not part of the view
By Fermat's theorem, its milk
Should be as pure and soft as silk
And other fabrics of that ilk
The ratio of milk to cream
Once came to me in a dream
About cows in a football team
'The number of the cow is twelve'
(Which cows have worked out for themselves)
So said the man I told to shelve
A cow pat's mean diameter
In the last parameter
Can't be measured by an ammeter
But, if you want to count the herd,
Cow density per acre serves
To some an answer most absurd
The current trend in beef per head
Sends most men turning to their bed
(They like their beef well-hung, it's said)
| Contributors: | fester, Roland, Apsley. |
| Poem finished: | 27th June 2002. |