The Spoonbill Generator

Estimate the water's depth [P]

Before you take a gulp [Roland]

And if you find it deep enough [P]

Then beat it to a pulp [Apsley]

When the fishes palpitate [Roland]

Before it starts to sulk [fester]

Do not presume to hesitate [Apsley]

Or call the Incredible Hulk [Tel]

Be as vapid as you can [Apsley]

Before you take the air [fester]

And if you find it, afterwards [loaf]

Then hold it by the hair: [Apsley]

It may wish to calculate [fester]

Before it hits the ground [Roland]

Don't let the matter escalate [fester]

Or tend to the profound [Roland]

Eliminate the positive [fester]

Accentuate the null [Roland]

And, if you find it tedious, [fester]

Or vacuous, or dull, [Roland]

Not quite designed to titillate [fester]

Or energise the brain [Roland]

Please don't presume to vacillate [fester]

For that would be in vain [Roland]

Be as languid as a sloth [fester]

Or vibrant as a worm [Roland]

For, if you can move slow enough [fester]

To catch the slightest germ [Roland]

Which makes you start to salivate [fester]

You'll find it melts your teeth [Beefy]

Faster than you can masticate [fester]

The constables from Leith [Apsley]