The Spoonbill Generator

To say that he was fat would be [fester]

A woeful lapse of sympathy [Roland]

But to call him an ugly dude [fester]

Would seem a very platitude [Roland]

If you have a bad attitude [Anon.]

You shall earn our gratitude [loaf]

To say that he was very short [fester]

Would be a very unkind thought [P]

But a loud comment on his smell [fester]

Would surely answer very well. [Roland]

If you are nastier than hell [fester]

You should wear a little bell [P]

To say his mind was lacking wit [fester]

Is nasty, on the face of it; [Roland]

But doubting his astucity [Barrymore's Ghost]

Could prove astute stupidity [fester]

If you be caught with trouser's down [Barrymore's Ghost]

Be sure your underpant's are brown [fester]

To claim his sinews were the best [loaf]

Could only be seen as a jest [fester]

But muscular disparagement [Barrymore's Ghost]

Would only be said by a gent [fester]

If this brings you merriment [Roland]

Your cerebrum, old chap, is spent [Barrymore's Ghost]