Venezuelans and Their Hated Sisters
Christmas gloom is coming soon
Despite the bunting and balloon
Bunted though the rooms may be
They have no good effect on me
I hate the smells- I hate the songs
Stuff that junk where it belongs!
Stuff the turkey! Stuff the goose!
Tear those decorations loose!
I'll none of it, this year or next,
That kind of stuff is truly vex'd!
And, yet, I warm to a mince-pie,
Shoved in some fake Santa's eye.
Christmas pudding! What vile stuff -
One small spoonful's quite enough
Two mouthfuls make you want to spew
Rum sauce slithers down like glue.
And presents! Look here, in this box -
One more bloody pair of socks!
Cold turkey. Doesn't that just make
Vile hors d'oeuvre for christmas cake?
And friendly heartburn always stays
Days and days and days and days.
Turkey soup and turkey curry
Christmas food is such a worry!
Tawdry tinsel, sickly tunes,
Are two of Christmas's best boons -
But after that it's all downhill.
And, after Christmas, there is still
Another month or two to go
Of ice and cold and wind and snow
Book me on a flight down South!
Where I've heard (by way of mouth),
That the season is not marked
By herald angels or their harks
So, with Browning, I will state
"Put no turkey on my plate!"
Yuletide blues are second rate.
Contributors: | dkb, Apsley, Stacy Alexander, the weppo, fester, Anon.. |
Poem finished: | 12th December 2002. |