The Spoonbill Generator

Venezuelans and Their Hated Sisters

Christmas gloom is coming soon [dkb]

Despite the bunting and balloon [Apsley]

Bunted though the rooms may be [dkb]

They have no good effect on me [Apsley]

I hate the smells- I hate the songs [Stacy Alexander]

Stuff that junk where it belongs! [dkb]

Stuff the turkey! Stuff the goose! [the weppo]

Tear those decorations loose! [dkb]

I'll none of it, this year or next, [Apsley]

That kind of stuff is truly vex'd! [Stacy Alexander]

And, yet, I warm to a mince-pie, [Apsley]

Shoved in some fake Santa's eye. [dkb]

Christmas pudding! What vile stuff - [fester]

One small spoonful's quite enough [dkb]

Two mouthfuls make you want to spew [fester]

Rum sauce slithers down like glue. [dkb]

And presents! Look here, in this box - [fester]

One more bloody pair of socks! [dkb]

Cold turkey. Doesn't that just make [fester]

Vile hors d'oeuvre for christmas cake? [dkb]

And friendly heartburn always stays [fester]

Days and days and days and days. [dkb]

Turkey soup and turkey curry [fester]

Christmas food is such a worry! [Stacy Alexander]

Tawdry tinsel, sickly tunes, [dkb]

Are two of Christmas's best boons - [fester]

But after that it's all downhill. [dkb]

And, after Christmas, there is still [fester]

Another month or two to go [dkb]

Of ice and cold and wind and snow [fester]

Book me on a flight down South! [dkb]

Where I've heard (by way of mouth), [Stacy Alexander]

That the season is not marked [Apsley]

By herald angels or their harks [fester]

So, with Browning, I will state [Apsley]

"Put no turkey on my plate!" [Anon.]

Yuletide blues are second rate. [Stacy Alexander]


Contributors: dkb, Apsley, Stacy Alexander, the weppo, fester, Anon..
Poem finished: 12th December 2002.