The Spoonbill Generator

A pint of Scruttock's in my hand [Apsley]

no balance in my feet [Anon.]

I bruise my buttocks when I land [fester]

Upon my copious seat [Apsley]

And, worse than that, I've spilt my beer [fester]

Across the kitchen floor [dkb]

And, though I'd lick it up, I fear [Apsley]

I'd just fall down some more [fester]

I fetch myself another can [Apsley]

Crawling on hands and knees [fester]

And visions of Afghanistan [dkb]

Buzz in my head like bees [fester]

And visions of the Nether Sky [Roland]

Obscure the fridge from me [fester]

I close a rather bloodshot eye [dkb]

And count from two to three [Roland]

How odd! The fridge is over there! [fester]

Its door is swinging wide; [dkb]

I wonder if there's one more beer [fester]

To cur my doggone hide [Apsley]

Alas, I find my waiting brew! [Stacy Alexander]

Inebriated I! [Carl Marks]

That's one for me and none for you [Grayman]

(The walls all spiral by.) [dkb]

I'm drunk! I'm drunk! Oh-MY! [Stacy Alexander]