The Doctrine of Giggling
I've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no doc
A hypothoseeees that sure ain't no crock
"Hatless" (my cat) disses "Green Eggs and Ham"
He does not read it in his pram
He does not read it to a yam
He does not read it in his box
Or to a famous cat called "Socks"
He does not like "Green Eggs and Ham"
He does not like them, Kansas Sam
He much prefers fat hens and cocks
And men in lipstick and nice frocks
And Seuss's poor math: "One fish two" adds to three
A therorum thats sure to let radicals go free
Hatless, poor Hatless, confused by each fish
confound it, confound it, a new titfer his wish
The rule of eight beckons; the abacus gleams
Tis right, tis right his addition it seems
Red fish and blue fish return to the sea
A place where no Seussical fish ought to be
A place where young Waldo is not to be found
A place where that Horton will not hear a sound
A place where both Tweedles, the dee and the dum
Though the looking glass mirrors the total plus some
And Horton: who's he to be hearing Herr Who?
And don't get me started on Mr Magoo!
Unless you propose that he squish a small voice
With a penalty from Beckham, We did rejoice !
And what's with those eggs, the green ones, I mean
They're a thousand years old, or so it would seem
When placed in the path of a North-Going Zax
(While Bleeding Gums blows the accomp'nying sax)
The rest of the band and the chorus sing out
"Well, shake it up baby, now, twist and shout"
With Tom on the trombone and Chico on harp
And funny old Victor playing major f sharp
Yet Seuss and my cat can agree on one thing
(Call it 'thing one' please, it has the right ring)
'Thing one' it is, with foots two, three, and four
(Or four, three and two on the othermost paw)
"The Foot Book" he reads, pawing pages all night
But this book was of bears coined by former pres Dwight
Ike's bears have clown feet, as in the Seuss tome
But do not claim Darkest Peru as their home
Instead, their huge feet stride on Mulberry Street
Causing cracks which imperil young Christopher's feet
As Chris crosses the cracks, the lad hops atop Pop
(A book that he bought from the Hop on Pop shop)
| Contributors: | Kansas Sam, keith c, Kansas Sam I Am, Beefy, fatty, DaddyCool, Stacy Alexander, Grayman. |
| Poem finished: | 30th April 2003. |