The Spoonbill Generator

I put lobsters in her sock drawer [Alex G]

To deter unwary mobsters [keith c]

And increase my likely profits [P]

Will wonders never cease? [Beefy]

Will wonders never cease? [Kansas Sam]

I scrawled sonnets on her window [Beefy]

To deter unweary trysters [Kansas Sam]

And preserve her from their passion [P]

Will suitors never cease? [Kansas Sam]

Will suitors never cease? [P]

But mere poems and crustaceans [Kansas Sam]

Herald deeper machinations ... [Roland]

I placed rhubarb by her mirror [P]

To inflame her private pleasure [Roland]

And excuse my feeble letters [P]

Will insults never end? [Roland]

Will insults never end? [P]

I spread Marmite on her landau [loaf]

To improve her lubrication [P]

And conserve her social standing [Beefy]

Will pull-offs never end? [Kansas Sam]

Will pull-offs never end? [loaf]

But mere spreads and vegetábles [P]

Are not yet the stuff of fables... [Beefy]

[Anon.]