Things Of The Wild Unknown
The haughty hippotamus spake unto the King:
My hide is thick, my mind is weak, and yet I have to sing
I must impose, do you suppose, you'll find a song that's suitable?
The King sat back, and thought awhile, his manner irrefutable
Then said unto that wrinkly beast, "There is but one solution
"You must renounce your haughty pose, your hippo dissolution
And join with us on Tuesday night, for carolling at dinner.
Sing whatever part you like: baritone, bass or tenor"
The hippo snorted, arched a brow, "How little do you know me
I am a star of screen and stage, I'll never stoop so lowly
Unless you first can find for me the perfect hippo beau
I won't consent to sing for you; I'll let my whiskers grow."
His majesty looked grave, it's clear he was concerned
He said, "I know no hippos. But I could offer my son, Vern."
"What use have I for humans?" cried the now indignant creature
"In life, they are mere freshmen, and I the cosmic teacher."
The royal highness sighed, this discussion was preposterous
It was almost worse than talking with an arrogant rhinocerous
The royal sovereign then summoned the executioner
Then in strolled the Queen and the King started smooching her
She spied the hippopotamus, and solemnly declared
Spare the hippo's life, my dear. The hippo only stared
In wonder at the Queen, and got down on one knee
And thence proceeded to unload a gushing stream of pee
The Queen began to shriek "You've ruined my best gown!"
The King was quite disgusted, and furiously did frown
And now the executioner took up the royal axe
They held the hippo down (it nearly broke their backs)
When all at once a single tear did trickle from his eye
"Your majesties, I beg you please, I do not wish to die"
The King responded with relief "Axeman, free the prisoner"
He then demanded notes be taken by the palace scrivener
And thus does end out tale of hippos, of kings and weird requests
| Contributors: | Nym, Francine, Kansas Sam, Karin (best I could do), Karin. |
| Poem finished: | 19th July 2003. |