Ivor the Besotten
Unbeknown to Ivor Pooter
Pegleg was Venusian
And a practising Lubavitcher
His philosophy, Malthusian
Mr Pooter was from Mars however
His wife from Solar Plexus
They lived inside a crater
Along with all their exes
So when Pegleg came to visit them
He packed extra Viagra
Venusians are renowned you see
For coming like Niagara
So at Ivor's house the scene was set
The aliens gathered 'round
Antennae, slime and tentacles
A heaving laocoon mound
Pegleg of course was quite resplendent
He wore his see-through pants
His body shimmered vibrantly
His thing a throbbing yellow lance
The Neptune Ladies all began to drool
Tore off their teflon blouses
Wriggled out of 7-holed panties
A scene that thence arouses
Poor Ivor grew quite jealous
When Pegleg grabbed his wife
He loaded up his rifle
And grabbed his trusty knife
But Pooter's gal was quite besotten
She gurgled, "Spare him, please!"
Ivor knew not what do to
He splurched, "Doggone it, geez!"
"I ought to kill you right now, Pegleg
"But wife and horny exes
"Would surely seek revenge
"The situation vexes
He knew there was but one solution
His own life he must end
Even if it kills him
what mindless retribution...
| Contributors: | snoodmeister, Anon., Francine, Nym, Jay Michaelson, asdf. |
| Poem finished: | 21st July 2003. |