The Spoonbill Generator

To dear Mrs Hoopledon, I hope you're feeling better [Nym]

I hear you had a case of flu and lost your favorite sweater [F]

I'm sending you a recipe, included in this letter [Nym]

As well as several skeins of yarn and a cross-eyed Irish Setter [F]

To my dearest Billy Tibble, my warm congratulations [Nym]

I hear you were assigned the job of Director of Gyrations [F]

I heard the news just yesterday, on all the TV stations [Nym]

Even Kofi mentioned it at the United Nations [F]

To your Highness, Baron Bottleby, I feel I must protest [Nym]

Your wearing of alpaca suits without a matching vest [F]

Of those penguin feather boots, it's time that you confessed [Nym]

Your title "baron" is a sham and you're ludicrously dressed [F]

To quaint old mistress Apfelbaum,Ican't quite stand your name [stephanie]

They caught you kissing Captain Culp (I heard from Auntie Mame) [Evan]

You kissed him on his poop deck ugh it makes me feel such shame [Randy]

But I confess It was I that his pegleg set aflame [archaeopteryx]