Parental
"You smell bad, Father William," the young man said,
And your stench makes kids run in fright
And yet you do nothing but polish your head -
You do stink - an outrage! Unseemly blight!
"In my socks," Father William replied to his son
I fear there will erupt a flame
But now that I'm sensing my ham needs a bun
Why, I wish I could steady my aim."
"You are squat," said the youth, "and your frogs are too plump
And your toads are too warty and skinny."
Yet you stun-gun yourself with no hope to out-jump
The filly whose whinny is tinny.
"In a booth," said the sage, as his pungence effused,
"I crept on my shins most supple
By living in a shoebox, it's cheap and hardly used
Perfect for a wedding couple
"You smell bad," said the youth. "Dude, your stench is so foul
"And you have several boils to boot"
Yet at hostels, you steal little soaps and the towel –
So why are you dirty, you coot?"
"In my youth," said his father, "I starred in Hee Haw,
"And bungled each number with flair
So Junior, disgusted, ate four heads of slaw
And tried not to pull out his hair.
"What Junior did next - well, you figure it out,"
Said, his father, "Don't tango with bears"
And when working with hicks who have cole slaw about
I advise you to tumble down stairs
Contributors: | Kansas Sam (from Carroll), Karin, Kansas Sam, Francine, Dassn't Say, Nym, Anon.. |
Poem finished: | 27th July 2003. |