Fate Knocks at Victorian Doors
OCCUPATIONAL LIMERICKS
There was a young plumber from Dorset
Who was wont to ride on a horse. It
was the talk of the town
The time he did drown
while struggling to unblock a toilet.
There was an accountant from Cambridge
Who idolized Dorothy Dandridge.
'Twas much to his credit
He cancelled her debit
And thus made his darling dame rich
A red-nosed pawnbroker in Sidcup
Was once at the scene of a stick-up
He flicked a pawned switchblade
And offered to trade
But was seized by a second-hand hiccup
A bank teller's job is from hell
They've nothing to market or sell
Just count filthy lucre
Hoping they'll snooker
The innumerate and the unwell
There once was crazy old chemist
Who was a lugubrious pessimist
He tasted his pills
(Daily, with meals)
And thought, 'By god, am I pissed'
Sir Ralph was a navy commander
In his spare time, an avid philanderer
Until a shipwreck
Did throw him off deck
And unmanned his manly doodander
There was young harlot from Cork
Every creature on earth she did bork
With her legs in the air
And fag-ends in her hair
She'd do every dweeble and dork
There was a quiet mouse from Whistler
Employed as a church mouse and chiseler
When he was idle
He'd gnaw on the bible
He found the new testament gristlier
| Contributors: | Francine, N, F, Anon., Dassn't Say, TG, De Quincey, baoloa, anon, Randy. |
| Poem finished: | 4th August 2003. |