The Spoonbill Generator

Why do the Spanish Never Use Toasters?

I've never met a man I didn't like. [td]

Though many have met me [Kansas Sam]

Never had a drink I didn't spike [F]

With gingerbread and brie [Kansas Sam]

I've never seen a grump I couldn't woo [Francine]

Though woozy grumps abound [Kansas Sam]

Never met an inc. I couldn't sue [Francine]

And earn a healthy pound [N]

I've never known an honest day's work [Kansas Sam]

I'm rather proud to say. [td]

Never even driven in a merc. [N]

Or in a one-hoss shay [F]

I've never really cared for boiled tripe [N]

Nor flambeed catfish fins [Francine]

Never did believe the crazy hype [N]

That chefs could cure our sins [Francine]

I've never taken Spanish lessons [baoloa]

No hablo espaņol [N]

Never chatted with the Hessians [F]

I've heard they're very droll [Need help at www.spoonbil]

I've never rhymed a villanelle [Francine]

Though villains often do [Beefy]

Never have I fibbed a kiss-and-tell [Kansas Sam]

Or pitched perverted woo [Dassn't Say]

I've never made an omelette without eggs [Beefy ]

I think I'm pretty smart [E Greejius]

Never did trust a mutt that begs [asdf]

Or a kittykat's black art [E Greejius]


Contributors: td, Kansas Sam, F, Francine, N, baoloa, Need help at www.spoonbil, Beefy, Dassn't Say, E Greejius, asdf.
Poem finished: 7th August 2003.