The Spoonbill Generator

Billboards, Numbers, and the Signs for Heaven

There once was a poet of note
But nobody read what he wrote [Nym]

So he took out an ad [Francine]

And started a fad [N]

The billboards all readers now quote [F]

In Vegas, there lived a magician [N]

Who'd shrink a girl down to a smidgen [F]

The crowd would applaud [N]

Though the trick was a fraud [Kansas Sam]

The girl was really a pigeon [F]

Seattle is home to a geek [N]

For a buck you can take a quick peek [Karin]

It's amorphous and hairy [F]

And really quite scary [Karin]

When it sees you, expect it to shriek [F]

There are things that go bump in the night [N]

I get up and turn on the light [F]

And to my chagrin [Karin]

Discover the din [F]

Of my hubby's snores flailing a kite [Kansas Sam]

There was an old whore from Rangoon [F]

Who tried to relieve a platoon [asdf]

But she found that when she [F]

Tried to levy a fee [N]

They inserted the coins in her poon [F]

If seven plus four is eleven
And three with four added is seven [Anon.]

Then minus two plus [F]

Point six is a fuss [N]

But zero is like seventh heaven [F]

There was a route sixty-six [baoloa]

On which, I was told, you'd find kicks [Karin]

It crossed the State lines [baoloa]

You could read the signs [F]

Unlike those poor old dyslexics [N (sorry)]

Aunt Mae was possessed by a demon [F]

She said it had filled her with semen [N]

But we knew she was nuts [F]

She gave birth to a klutz [N]

But Beelzebub couldn't stop beamin' [F]

An old fokker pilot named Fritz [Randy]

Would fly away to Moritz [baoloa]

Once there the old fokker [Randy]

Enjoyed so much poker [baoloa]

He went bankrupt; that was the pits [F]

A newlywed couple, the Kents [Randy]

Were shagging against the fence [N]

When old Smokey the Bear [Randy]

Discovered them there [N]

And he shagged them, now that don't make sense [Randy]


Contributors: Nym, Francine, N, F, Kansas Sam, Karin, asdf, baoloa, N (sorry), Randy.
Poem finished: 11th August 2003.