The Spoonbill Generator

On Friday the seventh of May
'Twas a sunny and cheerful day [Anon.]

But then when I found [Kansas Sam]

An odd looking mound [N]

That gay day in May went astray [Kansas Sam]

It seemed to be harmless enough
The surface, a little bit rough [N]

I dug just a bit [Kansas Sam]

When abruptly I hit [N]

A gruff greenish man in the buff [Kansas Sam]

He blinked out the dirt from his eyes [K8]

And brushed the clods off his thighs [smrtypnts]

He said "I must thank you
For such a kind rescue" [N]

I asked him the wherefores and whys [F]

"A leprechaun, sonny, I be" [N]

"An unlucky one, as you can see" [F]

I gave him my hand [N]

And upon it did land [smrtypnts]

A glittering magical key
[N]

He turned and reached back down the hole [Anon.]

And pulled out what looked like a mole [Anon.]

This bundle of fur
Then started to purr [N]

I asked, "If that was the goal?" [smrtypnts]

The leprachaun laughed out in glee [Anon.]

"I'll explain, if you listen to me." [Anon.]

His eyes opened wide [K8]

And loudly, he cried [N]

"There's nothing in Life that is FREE!" [K8]

With wave of his hand he ran off [Anon.]

Mole by his side, furry an' sof' [Anon.]

The key in my hand [F]

And there I did stand [smrtypnts]

When suddenly I heard this loud "cough"! [K8]

Then spinning around, I espied [Anon.]

What nearly made me cockeyed [K8]

A foul looking beast
With two heads (at least) [Anon.]

Which glared at each other, then sighed [K8]

"Young fellow, that key there is mine" [N]

My first thought was, Oh, ain't this fine! [F]

"Please kindly draw near.. [K8]

You've naught much to fear--
I only eat cattle and swine"
[Anon.]

I weakly stood up to my feet [Anon.]

And told him "I'm sure you're a cheat" [N]

The key I gripped tight [F]

Expecting a fight [K8]

Which, surely, would end in defeat
[N]

He whirled around, gave me a whack [F]

When suddenly Leprechaun held out his cat [K8]

It was all so confusing [F]

I ended up losing [N]

This tale is now ended--splat! [put me out of my misery]