Kamasutra for Happy Knives and Spoons
Who liked to undress all the girls
They'd come to his shop
To pet "Bunny", his Lop,
Who'd rummage amongst their curls
A guy and his girl were skiffling
But his efforts, she thought, were piffling
Though he smorked her nerp
He failed to slurp
Her quincy. No wonder she's sniffling
While under the glimmering moon
My lover and I would spoon
I'd fondle her hair
And imagine her bare
And then wonder if she had a poon
A near-sited froteur named Billy
Would put on his glasses to dilly
But his eyesight's so crappy
That he is quite happy
If he dillies a hobo named Willy
An astronaut circling the globe
Was alone so he thought he'd disrobe
He had a taut body
Space made him feel naughty
So he started to play with his lobe
A loud mouth old lesbian, Lola
Drank Pepsi, not Coca-Cola
But her flatulence struck
Like a rear-ending truck
And blew us all to Angola
A chippy named Mrs. Magee
Had a husband named Fibber, you see
She'd try to seduce him
And try to induce him
To kama her sutra, A - Z
A mild-mannered milquetoast, Mike Miller
Made maidens milk my maziller
But his ziller went dry
And I bade them good-bye
And went to give head to Godziller
An old pansy named Hercules Spong
Likes to play with his schlong all day long
It's short and it's slimy
Gol blimey it's grimy
So he chose to just puff on his bong
Mr. Jones found a boil on his bum
And had it excised for a sum
But a hole did remain
Which caused mental pain
So he drank a whole bottle of rum
| Contributors: | N, F, K8, Randy, baoloa. |
| Poem finished: | 17th August 2003. |