The Spoonbill Generator

I bought a jar of marmalade, paid quite a little sum [Kansas Sam]

But the jar was a Klein bottle, no marmalade out would come [A]

Or rather, it was never quite contained, it's just too hard to say [snood]

No marmalade tomorrow, no marmalade today [Dassn't Say]

I bought a reel of scotch tape, came home at quite a clip [snood]

But the thing had gone insane, the tape had lost its grip [Kansas Sam]

Or rather, it never really sticky, it's just too hard to know [N]

No scotch-a-tape today, no scotch-a-tape tomorrow [sp]

I bought a pet rhinocerous, cost a pretty penny [N]

But when I got it home and checked its horn, it had not any [Kansas Sam]

But it wore a skirt and skated on the ice like Sonja Henie [Dassn't Say]

Not a rhino too few, not a rhino too many [N]