The Spoonbill Generator

Bills are overdue, your car has broken down [N]

Your cheque book's fallen in the wash [keithc]

Your girlfriend's just departed for a girls' night on the town [Beefy]

Why not try this three step lifestyle makeover? [snood]

Step One: unclutter your life [Beefy]

Start by throwing "Walden" out [Kansas Sam]

Your counsellor will dispose of your valuables for you [Beefy]

While you deign to scrub the mold out of your grout [Dassn't Say]

Step Two: take responsibility [Kansas Sam]

Start by firing your lawyer [Beefy]

Try firing your office at the same time ... you have the ability [loaf]

Attend your own funeral like Huck Finn (or was it Tom Sawyer?) [snood]

Step Three: breathe. relax. enjoy [Kansas Sam]

Start with a stiff double whisky [N]

Then phone that hotline and order up a boy [Dassn't Say]

Maybe one nice and young and frisky [Anon.]

[Anon.]

Step Four: bathe in heated mud [Dassn't Say]

..wAiTaMiNuTe!..How can there be fourth step in a Three Step Lifestyle Makeover? [K8]

One of the red-hot tips is bound to be a dud [loaf]

Who am I tryin' ta kid; you & I know it SUCKS to be me..hand me that revolver. [K8]