The Spoonbill Generator

The internet crawled to a halt
There was clearly a terrible fault [Anon.]

I thought I would faint [F]

But a quitter I ain't [N]

I may have to call on John Galt [Ayn Rand]

The web page has finally loaded [Nym]

Cyberspace hasn't eroded [Anon.]

So life will go on [Karin]

My glasses I'll don [F]

And hope that it's all been decoded [N]

Googlewhack almost got schnuckled [quasi]

Under the pressure it buckled [Nym]

I can't whack my dirt [F]

My head's starting to hurt [quasi]

Sometimes I feel like a cuckold [F]

An old German butcher named Fritz [Randy]

Admitted he fondled the tits [F]

When they called him a pervert [quasi]

He said you've got nerve Bert [Randy]

Mein Gott, I don't touch their cl**ts! [F]

While writing a masterful spoonbill [N]

I think of my hometown, Steubenville
That's in Ohio [F]

Where I wrote my Bio [Randy]

Mailing it out? I soon will. [F]

The Bishop was a friend of young boys [Randy]

And called them his "sweet tinkertoys" [F]

He would bathe them each night [Randy]

But then saw the light [Beefy]

when he heard "PERVERT", in his master's voice [mel]

It's Friday, so roll on the clock [Beefy]

My weekend is packed chock-a-block [Ethetran]

The tavern is calling [Beefy]

The bell is a-tolling [mel]

I hope I don't get writer's ... [Beefy]

In England its gone half past five [snood]

The hour when the world comes alive [Roland]

And we head for the pub [P]

Singing "rub-a-dub-dub" [quasi]

Three drunks in a public house thrive [Randy]

Poetry's not my forte [quasi]

I fear that I have to report a [Roland]

Challenging rhyme
It's not such a crime [N]

Really, it's more of a sport, eh? [Kansas Sam]