The Spoonbill Generator

Why do people stare at me? [N]

Is it my tinfoil hat? [F]

No it can't be that [N]

My braided nose hairs, perhaps? [F]

That doesn't explain the claps [N]

Why do blind dates run from me? [F]

Because I smell a bit? [N]

And sport a globe-sized zit? [F]

I'm sure it's not my pointy chin [N]

Or that I've grown a dorsal fin [F]

Why does no-one talk to me? [N]

Am I a bit too frank? [Kansas Sam]

Or thicker than a plank [N]

Could it be my raging halitosis? [Karin]

Or my VD diagnosis? [Kansas Sam]

Why do children scream at me? [Anon.]

I hope it's not my teeth [Kansas Sam]

Or the rotting Christmas wreath [F]

That hangs around my neck [Karin]

I guess I'm quite a wreck [N]