The Bob Job Murders
I once had an uncle named Bob
Who refused to acquire a job
He'd sit in his chair
Building castles in air
In short, just your average slob
Bob had a wife named Priscilla
As aunts go, a real killer-diller
She planned out Bob's murder
(He'd "fall" from a girder)
Sit back folks - you're in for a thrilla!
The first task that challenged Bob's spouse
Was finding a tall half-built house
She recruited some thugs
And poodles and pugs
Who would somehow get rid of the louse
So they lured him one night to a pub
'Twas an offer he hardly could snub
They laced his bock beer
Which caused him to veer
But only his toe did he stub
Little did Bobbo suspect
That they were about to inject
A most deadly poison
Compounded of boysen-
berries and other such dreck
As soon as Bob had passed out
A certain ugly old lout
Helped the poodles to drag him
Out into the wagon
Was he in trouble? No doubt
They drove off with Bob in the back
Tied up in a thick gunnysack
He started to squirm
And felt most infirm
It was clear they would have to change tack
Poor Bob was thrown in the river
This last bit will cause you to shiver:
He cried out, "Oh, please!"
Prompting the pugs to make pees
Before sitting back down all a quiver.
| Contributors: | mel, Karin, archaeopteryx, Kansas Sam, Beefy, snood, F, N, K8, . |
| Poem finished: | 5th September 2003. |