The Spoonbill Generator

The first thing I learned in my life as a cat [Kansas Sam]

Is that the whole "nine lives" things is just a big crock! Four lives, tops. [Karin]

I lost Life #1 when I fell into the toilet bowl [Dassn't Say]

Life #2 was over almost as soon as it began - damn truck [dok]

Life #3 involved an unfortunate accident with a mexican and a jackhammer [Josh Hill]

Life #4 the dryer was way too hot [Crystal Dowd]

Surprise of my life! I woke up dead [Grayman]

If that was bad, the taxidermist was worse [Beefy]

He insisted on preserving my memories [Ethetran]

Frankly, I'd rather have had someone else's [Beefy]

Now I stare, glassy-eyed , from my former person's shelf [Dassn't Say]

Life #5 was most lovely, Godiva chocolate was the cause. [Beth]

Life as now know it has been rejuvinated by my belief in the lord. [Paul Maurice]

So over the rainbow I go to the other side [Marsha Kendall]

I'm sacred in many religions, you know [Beefy]

But what do I care as long as there is a warm lap waiting for me [Patrick Burnell]

Ah, the warm lap of the cat god, my lordly lion [Dassn't Say]

Let us bring lightning down on dogkind [Beefy]

Leaving Lap Givers as the only remaining curs [Kansas Sam]

As you know, there are many intelligent species, but they are all owned by cats. [Anon.]

Still, none but cats are intelligent enough to recognize this [Kansas Sam]

Indeed perhaps the feline race might be more intellegent than us all [Aimee M.]

But then again...aren't i the dead one afterall. [Michael DeSousa]