The Hoity-Toity Envelopes
There was a young painter from Maine
Who seemed a wee off, not insane
But his loss of one ear
Made him appear
Lopsided and in chronic pain
There's an old writer from Georgia
Who emulates Cesare Borgia
While not Machiavelli
(Who's so very smelly)
He's still quite a competent forger
A middle-aged hoofer from Texas
Danced square on all nine of her ex-es
She used her spike heels
To elicit the squeals
Then drove over them with her new Lexus
A crazy old guy from Hawaii
Poked out his eye and cried, "Aieeeee!"
He danced up and down
Then scurried uptown
And asked of his doctor, "Why me?"
I think I shall sit in the tub
With my favourite flannel, and scrub
My back and my feet
With flair and conceit
Then head right on out to the pub
I once had a mistress named Sue
She was buxom and sensual too
She liked to lick toes
And never said noes
And would better off kept in a zoo
A spritely young thing from New Hampshire
Had just bought a furry pet hamster
On bringing it home
Did it merrily roam
Its antics did fully entrance her
There was a young man from Melbourne
Whose embarassing name was 'Sheldon'
But the size of his nose
was a blessing for crows
As a platform from which they could sell porn
When watching a film with Tom Cruise in
My great uncle Tim started musing
If I were a she
I'd sure think that he
Could use me for a bit of abusing
When I think of Little Miss Muffet
I remember how she came to snuff it
She spent too much time
Eating foul cheesy slime
And trying to ape Jimmy Buffett
Contributors: | F, smrtypnts, Kansas Sam, dok, Karin, N, Ethetran, quasi, baoloa, snood, fester, ellie, Beefy. |
Poem finished: | 19th September 2003. |