The Spoonbill Generator

On vacation, I saw a most Marvel-ous cave [Kansas Sam]

And several cavewomen as well [F]

But I was in desperate need of a shave [Beefy ]

when i heard the chimes of the church bell [cj]

I scrambled reluctantly back to the car [Beefy ]

And scrabbled around in the back [Grayman]

Now, where was that razor - they can't have gone far [Beefy ]

But do I have time for a snack? [F]

The Twinkies - right there! - but where is my Schick? [Kansas Sam]

My appearance must not be uncouth [Beefy ]

Only cave-men are stuck wearing beards long and thick [Kansas Sam]

Like some men in the town of Duluth [F]

It must be, it must (nyum-nyum) be in this bag [Kansas Sam]

(I really must shave.) Jujubes! [F]

I'll soon need a (smac-smac) to mow down this shag [Kansas Sam]

I feel like one of those newbies [F]

Oh goodie, some Ho-hos! - I hope she can wait [Kansas]

I'll look for that blade in a minute [Grayman]

Now, what's the right snack to present to a date? [Beefy ]

Not a doughnut (there's not enough in it) [Ethetran]

Damn! I've got chocolate stains all down my tie [Grayman]

I hope I don't look like a savage [Kansas Sam]

I'm sure they've met no-one as soigné as I [Beefy ]

I wonder how many I'll ravage? [F]

The razor - I found it! - yup, deep in that bag [Kansas Sam]

Now all I need is a shower [F]

Wait - Oreos! Oreos! Right there to snag [Kansas Sam]

(Yes, I know Dr. Atkins would glower) [F]

Well...to heck with the shower, to heck with the shave [Kansas Sam]

I'll just sit in my car, getting fatter [F]

To heck with the (nyum)-women down in the (nyum) [Kansas Sam]

I mean, really--what does it matter? [F]