The Spoonbill Generator

I went to bat for you so many times, and how have you repaid me? [Karin]

You shaved my dog, unhinged my doors, then tried to cop a plea. [F]

My dog was ashamed, my house got cold, then a cop tried to cop a feel of me. [Karin]

You've been so bad, so very weird, I think I'll climb a tree. [F]

I went to bat for you so many times, and yet you still deny it. [Grayman]

How often have I bought some meat and yet you would not fry it. [F]

The bacon went untasted, and offal of diverse variety [Grayman]

Your denials engorged you with perverse satiety. [Dassn't Say]

I went to bat for you so many times, and there simply sat. [Kansas Sam]

You fed me lard and doughnuts until I got too fat [F]

To fly on wires as Peter Pan, you awful horrid cad! [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Why must you torment me like that Impaler, Vlad? [F]