The Spoonbill Generator

Much to my dismay, I turned seventy today [N]

No faculties obey, incontinence is here to stay [Kansas Sam]

My memory has faded, and my taste for life is jaded [N]

The vision has degraded, my hairpiece is pomaded [Ventnor]

The skin upon my bones has turned to greyer tones [N]

I issue plaintive groans when passing kidney stones [Francine]

I've lost my sense of smell, my body's gone to hell [Karin]

my memories wish me well [Anon.]

Wisdom, truth to say, is at least a modest pay [Kansas Sam]

But alas and welladay, it won't pay the rent today [F]

My pension cheque is late, and I'm in a frightful state [N]

I hate to prate, but as of late, I'm sadly underweight [F]

I've one foot in the grave, and it's silence now I crave [N]

I seldom bother to lave, my visitors are brave [Karin]

I'll grow a footlong beard. Or would that look too weird? [F]

(you'll make all the kids afeard) [Karin]