The Spoonbill Generator

A line of sawdust or cocaine [Apsley]

Will seldom help to heal the pain [Beefy ]

And smoking crack or heroin [Ethetran]

Will not improve the mess your in [smrtypnts]

While drinking whisky by the quart [Beefy ]

Cures weakness of a certain sort [loaf]

But chocolate! Now, there's the thing [Beefy ]

Beloved of conqueror and king [Roland]

The German type can make one feel [Irene Adler]

As bulbous as the Common Eel [PeterWRC]

But still has charms to soothe the soul [Irene Adler]

When thrust into a waiting hole [Apsley]

And you in rapture will declare [P]

That I am wearing underwear [Apsley]

Discovered on a ransacked train [Roland]

And used to wash a window pane [F]

But, really, what you need is tea [N]

A biscuit or a scone might be [F]

The cure to your so secret stain [Apsley]

(You once abused a candy cane) [F]

But tea alone will make you hale [Beefy ]

I advocate some English ale [Padfoot]

To bring the ruddy glow of health [Beefy ]

And make you thin yourself, in wealth, [Apsley]

By buying friends a dozen rounds [Kansas Sam]

And going, thus, beyond the bounds [Apsley]

Of ale that's safe for mortal men [Kansas Sam]

E'en if they know themselves as Ken [Apsley]