Avoidance Of Outrageous Aphorisms
There was an old man, Mr. Tucker
Who was known as a bit of sucker
He said, "I'm in heat!"
And he started to bleat
And you thought I would use the word f***er
There once was a grey haired old banker
Whose body was leaner and lanker
He said with a grin
"Though I know 'tis a sin,
I cannot resist weighing anchor"
Marianne Faithfull just bickers
Yet still I have faith that her knickers
Aren't tied in a knot
though her vocal cords rot
She sings when she counters my dickers
A little Venusian named Splurk
Got some stilts from his boss as a perk
He walked to his ship
In a silky blue slip
As tall and as proud as Jim Kirk
An openly gay slug called Nigel
Had his telescope focused on Rigel
He said, "It's Uranus"
(Which did entertain us)
(Better than reading the Bible)
A strapping young lad from Kentucky
Fondled his wee rubber ducky
'Twas his favourite toy
That he oft would employ
Whenever he couldn't get lucky
A dozen young lads in a car
Had driven incredibly far
They said, "Let us stop"
"And open the top"
"And swig from an old Mason jar"
(That last one, I guess, didn't gel
So what can I say but, "Oh, well...")
(Now, who closed that paren?! -
Some fellow called Len?)
How will it finish - can anyone tell?
These limericks are fairly clean
And better than some that I've seen
By children of three
Or my cousin Marie
But I think that they're loosing their sheen.
| Contributors: | F, N, Grayman, Big Andy, Irene Adler, Ethetran, D Earwicker, Kansas Sam, bob, asdf, Beefy, Roland. |
| Poem finished: | 21st November 2003 by Anon.. |