The Spoonbill Generator

Rubbing out the guide-book [Surlaw]

With a copper eraser [Apsley]

Never spare a side look [Surlaw]

For a fish called Fraser [Apsley]

Never ride a bison [Surlaw]

Against the leather fence [Apsley]

Nor hoover, with your Dyson [Surlaw]

In reverse, in Odense [Apsley]

Rushing through the temple [Surlaw]

With a sonic screwdriver [Apsley]

Finding out if hemp'll [Surlaw]

Mend a burnt-out fiver [Apsley]

Never sue your ankles [Surlaw]

Through the man of law [Apsley]

Whose insolence still rankles [Surlaw]

And makes the liver raw [Apsley]

And makes the pancreas disperse [Surlaw]

Into a small and leather box [Apsley]

Where, undernourished with a curse [Surlaw]

Prepared by monks, you get the pox, [Apsley]

You get the famous French Disease [Surlaw]

And find it leads to some unease [Apsley]

Riding out the rubric [Surlaw]

With the best veneer [Apsley]

We dreamed of Stanley Kubrick [Surlaw]

That erstwhile man of year [Apsley]

Never type a crescent [Surlaw]

When stars'll do instead [Apsley]

Nor buy the moon a present [Surlaw]

To soothe your aching head [Apsley]

Never write in pencil [Surlaw]

On the back of sheep [Apsley]

With a blazing stencil [Surlaw]

In your midday sleep [Apsley]

Always use a biro [Surlaw]

On the shortest day [Apsley]

Cash your only Giro [Surlaw]

In the usual way [Apsley]

Rubbing out the guide-book [(trad)]

With a radon air-brush [Apsley]

Forcing through the gridlock [Surlaw]

Turns one's hair to mush [Apsley]

Never court galoshes [Surlaw]

In the nether year [Apsley]

Nor distribute coshes [Surlaw]

In your raging fear [Apsley]

Rushing through the orchard [Surlaw]

To contain the crush [Apsley]

Neither tired nor tortured [Surlaw]

With a cruel wire-brush [Apsley]

Neither cold nor caring [Surlaw]

Is the nurse's way [Apsley]

Cerebral and sparing [Surlaw]

Of the underlay [Apsley]

Where, undernourished with a vice [Surlaw]

Turned too tightly, [Apsley]

She half-castrates the cockatrice [Surlaw]

And sautées it lightly [Apsley]