The Spoonbill Generator

Excuse me, darling, have you put on some weight? [F]

I'm sure that last week you could fit through the gate [N]

Excuse me, I noted all the doughnuts you ate [F]

We'll need a new house just for you at this rate [N]

Pardon me sweetie, but your clothes are beginning to split [Karin]

Poor dear, even your porkpie hat doesn't fit! [F]

Would you consider reducing a bit? [will]

You can't wear a glove, just a thick oven mitt [F]

Rude of me, doll, not to help with your zippers [K8]

(Though you resemble Keiko without flippers.) [Herb]

Instead of a whale, try eating the kippers [F]

You've worn out your shoes - all that's left are your slippers [N]

Ouch! Ooh! Darling, please--don't sit on my lap! [F]

I'd be spread out as flat as a folded-out map [N]

You wiggle your arms and the skin starts to flap [F]

How'd you expect me to deal with this crap? [N]