Etiquette Toward Farm Animals
When addressing a horse, remember the rule:
First, bow three times then stamp one foot
When greeting a cow, they taught us at school -
First, sprinkle her head with chimney soot
When convening with pigs, never forget:
Swill should be served instead of wine
In the presence of sheep you haven't yet met -
Please don't "slaughter a third of your kine"
When conversing with geese, take my advice:
Don't ruffle their feathers or honk
When you meet with a goat, it will only suffice
To greet his mate with a mannerly bonk
When speaking to chickens, tradition dictates:
You flatter their beaks and their eggs
To parlay with a duck, the law clearly states -
Not to make duck soup out of their legs
When dining with mice, the strict etiquette
Is never to eat all your cheese in one go
Before dancing with dogs, please consult with a vet
Not all breeds can perform do-si-do
When vacationing with Eels, the transport of choice
Must surely be a camper van
To commune with sharks, read a passage from Joyce
While on the sea in a stout sampan
| Contributors: | N, F, Beefy, Grayman, Big Andy, K8, Karin. |
| Poem finished: | 9th December 2003 by Karin. |